Rinkworks

Rinkworks was introduced to me back in 2000 or so by my high school girlfriend who enjoyed "Book-A-Minute." Honestly, that's one of my least favorite aspects of the site, but so much of that site is good that it is well worth the time to pay a visit. It's a lot of random humor and cleverness. Here's the stuff I like the best:

I Think: If you liked SNL's Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy, there'll probably be a thought or two you enjoy from this.

It's a Bad, Bad, Movie (Read anything with a rating of 5): This guy reviews B-movies that amused him. A special link to my favorite review

Things People Said: These are all good. I'll give some examples of what you'll find, specifically, my favorites. Here goes:

- Accident Quotations -

• "In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
• "To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian."
• "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."
• "The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him."
• "I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car."

- Resume Quotations -

• "My contributions on product launches were based on dreams that I had."
• "I eat computers for lunch."
• "Graduated in the top 66% of my class."
• "Previous experience: Self-employed -- a fiasco."
• "Special skills: I've got a Ph.D. in human feelings."
• "My ruthlessness terrorized the competition and can sometimes offend."
• "ONCE FOCUSED ON AN OBJECTIVE, I BELIEVE MYSELF TO HAVE AN UNDYING LUST FOR SUCCESS WITH ACCURACY AND EFFECIENCY."

- Warning Labels -

• "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.
• "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.
• "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
• "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.

- Tenents -

• "I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall."
• "This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door."
• "The toilet seat is cracked. Where do I stand?"
• "Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces."
• "The toilet is blocked, and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared."

Orson Scott Card Stories

Orson Scott Card
Without doubt, Orson Scott Card is my favorite author. At his website, many short stories are provided. Here are my favorites. This should take a good chunk of time to read through, and the stories are very enjoyable. If you like them, you should read all his stories.
(a) Atlantis

It's very long and takes a bit before it's interesting, but it's really good once it does. If you've read Pastwatch, you might think you already read this... but you haven't, keep reading.

(b) Ender's Game

If you like the book and haven't read this, I think it's still worthwhile. If you haven't heard of Ender's Game... after reading this, I'm sure you'll want to pick up the full novel.

(c) Homeless in Hell

It's a Christmas story about an interesting interpretation of Hell and Santa Clause.

(d) Missed

It's kinda on the sad side about a guy coping with death, please keep that in mind. Quite short though. One short break's worth.

(e) Prior Restraint

This is a pretty interesting story, but I can't say anything about it without kind of ruining it.

Introduction

Hi, I've spent a lot of time surfing the web and I've found a lot of amusing stuff. It'd be a waste to keep it all to myself, especially considering that you're bored (that's how you found your way here, right?.) So I thought I'd share, exerting as little energy as possible by using this free blog account. Hope you find something there to fight off the boredom. Without further ado. I'll put up something new once every two weeks or so.