Rinkworks

Rinkworks was introduced to me back in 2000 or so by my high school girlfriend who enjoyed "Book-A-Minute." Honestly, that's one of my least favorite aspects of the site, but so much of that site is good that it is well worth the time to pay a visit. It's a lot of random humor and cleverness. Here's the stuff I like the best:

I Think: If you liked SNL's Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy, there'll probably be a thought or two you enjoy from this.

It's a Bad, Bad, Movie (Read anything with a rating of 5): This guy reviews B-movies that amused him. A special link to my favorite review

Things People Said: These are all good. I'll give some examples of what you'll find, specifically, my favorites. Here goes:

- Accident Quotations -

• "In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
• "To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian."
• "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."
• "The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him."
• "I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car."

- Resume Quotations -

• "My contributions on product launches were based on dreams that I had."
• "I eat computers for lunch."
• "Graduated in the top 66% of my class."
• "Previous experience: Self-employed -- a fiasco."
• "Special skills: I've got a Ph.D. in human feelings."
• "My ruthlessness terrorized the competition and can sometimes offend."
• "ONCE FOCUSED ON AN OBJECTIVE, I BELIEVE MYSELF TO HAVE AN UNDYING LUST FOR SUCCESS WITH ACCURACY AND EFFECIENCY."

- Warning Labels -

• "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.
• "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.
• "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
• "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.

- Tenents -

• "I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall."
• "This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door."
• "The toilet seat is cracked. Where do I stand?"
• "Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces."
• "The toilet is blocked, and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared."